A mentor of mine gave me these questions that I should be asking regularly on areas that are causing pain. In other words he offered me this framework that he himself had gotten from a psychologist and he has found it useful. I'll now add this to my yearly review (apart from using to help me confront those things that I need to take head-on).
- What are those things that I ought to say, but not saying?
- What are those things that I'm saying but that is not being heard?
- What are those things that are being said, but I'm not hearing?
Beautiful questions isn't it. The first one pushes us to take the bold step that we have been, for whatever reasons avoiding. Second one makes us evaluate the story, words, tone, medium, time, place etc., that we may have to change to be heard. Finally the third one makes it a point to question our own listening and/or interpretation of things that are being said.
Notice that in all the questions the responsibility is on us and we aren't blaming anyone - often the first step in correcting something.
What other questions you might be using to confront the things that need to be confronted?
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