You may be a jerk and not realise it!!

Last week in a meeting I snapped. I felt/thought/assumed/concluded/decided that some core tenets of what I believe and what has contributed to our success was being questioned. And I acted in a way that I’m not proud of. To add insult to my injury, this happened a few days later after I read this article titled Social Blind Spots: Why we need feedback to develop social intelligence. I had noted down a few points to share in one of my BBL article, but never thought I needed it more than others!

Anyways the author, Angela Duckworth, makes the following points. Even when We may be thinking that we are acting responsibly or selflessly,

-          We can be quite blind to our social blunders

-          It’s easy to act like a jerk and not realize it

-          Don’t assume you’re acting as graciously as you think you are. Social intelligence is in the eye of the beholder.

-          Do listen for feedback. No matter their age, the people you’re with may be more attuned to your social blunders than you are.

As leaders, it is ultra important that we do not create an atmosphere where people are scared to challenge status quo and/or propose new way of doing things. This doesn’t mean you should shy away for educating or dis-agreeing. It is a tough balancing act and not easy to master.

Feedback helps. See whether you can assign a peer or even a trusted reportee to let you know when you are off rails.

Angela Duckworth is the author of this beautiful book Grit: Why Passion and Resilience are the secrets to success. I’d reckon this as one of the must reads for anyone. And while we are at this, may I make another fervent appeal to read atleast one book per month? There has been lot of research to suggest  “all leaders are readers”. Lot of world leaders like Bill Gates, Zuckerberg etc., are all voracious leaders and regularly recommend books to read. Several senior NI leaders including Eric and Alex are heavy readers. Trust me it pays.

Do you need a lot of time to read one book a month? Actually no. An average business book is about 300 pages. Which means its about 75 pages a week. If you decide to read daily, its about 7-8 pages a day (less than 10mins), or if you choose to read only on weekends its about 30mins every Sat and Sun. I find it difficult to imagine that anyone aspiring to become a good leader can’t even invest an hour a week to get better!!

RamP!